


i will follow you into the dark

by sodun



Series: rarl oneshots [10]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: 8x08, Hallucinations, M/M, dying, just sad idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 06:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodun/pseuds/sodun
Summary: When his eye slowly peels open, it’s glazed over, unfocused, looking at Rick but not really seeing him. Carl’s head rolls to the side, his clouded gaze landing on the metal sewer wall beside him.“Asshole,” he mumbles.----Alternatively, Carl's final moments.





	1. it's nothing to cry about

**Author's Note:**

> fuck scott gimple
> 
> title + chapter titles from i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

Carl stopped speaking to his family long ago, his eye closed and body still, aside from the shaking. He’d said his goodbyes, gave his dad and Michonne their letters and the one for Judith too, made them promise they wouldn’t let her forget about him. He’d told them he wasn’t scared, that he was at peace with this, that he was ready. Michonne had to walk away for a minute, to cry on her own where Carl wouldn’t see. When she came back, Carl told her he loved her, said the same to his dad, and closed his eye. If it weren’t for the shaking, the sweating, the twitching, they would’ve thought he was gone. Siddiq left, moved to a different part of the tunnel, leaving the family to be alone with their dying boy.

It feels like an eternity of waiting has passed when Carl’s lips start to move again.

He’s muttering something, Rick and Michonne can’t quite make sense of it. They know this is almost the end, that his head is already someplace else, just waiting for his body to catch up. A few words are coherent and Carl repeats them often; mom, sorry, right, no. Everything else is just noise, quiet vibrations that mean nothing to everyone but Carl.

When his eye slowly peels open, it’s glazed over, unfocused, looking at Rick but not really _seeing_ him. Carl’s head rolls to the side, his clouded gaze landing on the metal sewer wall beside him. 

“Asshole,” he mumbles, a little louder than before. Somehow, his lips form an open-mouthed smile, and a dry croaking sound falls from it, the closest thing to a laugh he can manage.

Rick squeezes Carl’s burning hand, trying to pull his attention back to real life. “Who are you talking to, Carl?”

It’s futile. Another wheezing laugh forces its way out of Carl’s chest. “You happened to my eye,” he mutters, raising his free hand and dropping it down in the space next to him. His fingers weakly curl around nothing, clutching on to stale air. “You shot it.”

Rick and Michonne share a glance. They knew this was coming, the delirium, it’s what the fever did. Rick had wondered if Carl was going to talk to the people they’d lost, his mom, Shane, Glenn.. Ron hadn’t even crossed Rick’s mind. He knew the two had been close, always suspected it was more than friendship, but with what Ron put him through.. Rick couldn’t believe he was the one Carl was seeing in death.

Carl breathes out a quiet ‘yes’, his voice breaking. The rise and fall of his chest is becoming harsh, his body stuttering with each inhale.

There’s a moment of silence. Carl turns his head forward again, eye meeting with his dad’s once more before it falls shut. Rick focuses on his torso, reminds himself that his son is still breathing.

“‘s not,” Carl rasps, fingers on both of his hands flexing, likely trying to squeeze but not having enough strength. “Nowhere else, all gone.”

“He’s going,” Michonne whispers, resting a hand on Carl’s knee, “I feel it.”

Rick nods, feels the tears falling down his cheeks before he realizes he’s crying. “I know.”

“Okay,” Carl mumbles, his eyelid slowly rising, eye meeting his dad’s again. “I’ll see you,” he breathes, then closes his eye once more.


	2. we'll hold each other soon

The grass is silk soft and cool beneath Carl’s legs, soothing the burn of the fever. His back rests against the white picket fence of his old front yard, back in Georgia. The sun is shining, boiling his insides, melting his brain.

“How did you end up here, my sweet boy?” 

“Mom?” Carl whispers, looking up to see his mother walking out of the front door of their home.

“You shouldn’t be here, Carl,” she says, a sad smile on her face.

Carl stands up, hugs his mom tightly. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Lori shakes her head, plucking the hat off Carl’s head and tossing it on the ground to brush her fingers through his hair. “You were just doing what’s right, baby.”

“I was,” he says, voice strong, proud. “I did what’s right. I saved his life.”

“I know. You’re so good, Carl. The best thing I ever did.” Lori smiles at Carl, kissing his forehead. “You’re not afraid?”

Carl shakes his head, returning her smile. “No, I’m not.”

“Of course. You are so brave,” Lori states, pulling Carl back against her chest in another hug.

When Carl moves back, he’s in the sewer again. His dad is watching him, holding his hand, and Michonne is at his feet, tears falling from her eyes. 

“Wow, you look like shit.”

Carl turns his head to follow the noise, finds Ron lowering himself onto the ground beside him. 

“Asshole,” Carl chuckles, nudging Ron with his elbow.

Ron eyes him funnily, tilting his head to the side. “What happened to your eye?”

Rolling his eye, Carl barks out a laugh. “ _You_ happened to my eye,” he says, reaching for Ron’s hand, sliding his fingers into the spaces between Ron’s. They fit perfectly, like they always have, “You shot it.”

“Oh,” Ron mutters, looking down. “I-I’m sorry, do you.. Do you forgive me?”

Carl smiles, nodding once. “Yes.”

The two fall into a comfortable silence. Carl turns to his dad, sees him still sitting there, holding his other hand. Closing his eye, Carl lets himself relax, the heat from the fever fading, leaving him with a feeling of content.

“It’s not fair that you have to die down here,” Ron sighs, rubbing the base of Carl’s thumb with his own gently.

“It’s not,” Carl agrees, shrugging gently. “There’s nowhere else for me to go. It’s all gone, blown up.”

Michonne says something, so does his dad, but their voices are muffled, distorted, like they’re underwater.

“I could take you somewhere,” Ron suggests, “somewhere nicer than this.”

Carl thinks about it for a moment. That would mean leaving his family, but he’s already said goodbye. 

“Okay,” Carl says. He looks at his dad, smiles at him. “I’ll see you,” Carl tells him.

He lets Ron pull him up, lead him down the tunnel. Carl waves to his family as he passes, says quiet goodbyes, tells them he’ll miss them, then climbs up the ladder.


End file.
